Bright white faces, flashes of colour and low sounds. It's like we can't help it, every chance we get. Scroll, scroll, scroll. She's sleeping, outside. I envy her. Eldest on his Gameboy, Thrap-thrapping on the A and B button. We sit opposite one another, screens in hand. Scroll, scroll, scroll. Pause.. save or screenshot. Scroll, … Continue reading Lights.
And I wish it didn't cripple me, the way it seems to do. The shame and fear of wanting to leave, but not knowing where to go. Of understanding fragments of conversation, but not enough to feel included or alive. Like a toddler, always waiting for cues and words to solve the puzzle. The kids … Continue reading Hanging.
And you can't imagine how it might feel, To live trapped inside a broken mind. Spinning around in ferocious, meaningless circles, Faster, faster. Useless. Fat. Guilty. Unworthy. Failure. Disgusting. Thoughts of all the ways you would love to stand out, And of all the ways you simply need to disappear. Thinking of a million, beautiful reasons to … Continue reading Shackles.
It's thirty one days, since I spoke to someone else. My observation doesn't mean you're not enough, it means you're all I have. Your eyes dart to desirable cars, glazed over, disinterested. I stop speaking. I sigh. A painful, heavy sigh. The language is coming slowly, but the confidence won't follow. Cancelled plans. Ignored and … Continue reading Thirty one days.