It’s January 3rd, and for the first time in around 16 years my ‘new years resolution’ is not to lose weight, tone up, be smaller or be any less like ‘me’.
Not. This. Year.
This year my promise to myself is entirely different. It is to keep on being me.
The me I thought I’d lost, the me I thought I’d sacrificed to make others happy, the me I was ready to trade in forever, to make my life ‘better’.
For 2017, the most important lesson I have carried forward is this:
That I need to give less emotion, time and importance to behaviours in others that I do not appreciate or understand. I reach this conclusion given that, in 99% of the circumstances, I should already expect them!
The person that you hold so dearly to your heart. The one you love. The one you were sure you would give everything and anything for.. The same person you now do not trust, and further more lack belief in? Let it go. The trust we have in a person/s can be taken away in almost an instant, and the reproduction of that same bond, is difficult, tiresome and ultimately confusing. You may, naturally, keep the person that you feel has hurt you by being selfish, unkind or even unconsciously inactive close to you and your heart, but let go of the expectations you have placed upon them that are subsequently hurting you. Re-frame the relationship. In this instance take it upon yourself to remain optimistic that this person can bring to the table what it is you need from them and you are willing to reciprocate, but be realistic. Those who let us down in the first instance, and then the second, are inevitably always more likely to pull the rug from under us – no matter the words that leak from their mouth. Be prepared. Be accepting of the fact that you may not get the results you want from this person, despite their promises. Embrace that you simply cannot expect it.
The person that you’ve found to be flakey, dismissive. The one that hurt you because you were so sure they would be supportive during your worst hours – because thats what you thought you could expect from them? Let it go. The relationship no longer holds the importance you thought it did, for the reasons you thought it had. Come to expect this person will not shoulder your woes and instead of searching for a party to blame – re-frame the relationship. Take it upon yourself to make it so that you no longer want or need that support from this individual. Embrace that you simply cannot expect it.
I could go on forever, but you get the idea. For 2017, try something new? Respect the boundaries, flaws and strengths within yourself and those around you.
Over and out.