Christmas.

I'm outside. And it is cold. And it is wet, but it is the only place I can breathe. I am dressed inappropriately for the weather, and my hands feel heavy and strange. Nervous, I am scanning the dark, looking for somewhere to go. I am shifting my eyes across the people around me. I … Continue reading Christmas.

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Missing.

I miss the way I had to angle my body to get up the drive, dragging the wheels-bin behind me. The one with the slit in the side, that I knew needed replacing, but hadn't got around to. I miss the way I would pile up washing on top of the dryer, in the kitchen, … Continue reading Missing.

Relief 

Hyper. You're hyper.  You're smelling, feeling, tasting everything like it's your first time.  For a moment, after what feels like a decade, you're seeing things more clearly. The paranoia shifts, you suddenly realise you had things wrong. You had people, wrong.  In the depressive, anxious haze.. You had been too quick to judge. You know … Continue reading Relief